If the first two episodes of season two
are any indication, Catfish is no longer
the curious little show that made people
who hadn’t watched MTV in actual years
pay attention. Not only is it growing
more meta by the episode, but Catfish
has the potential to become something
far more dramatic than mere reality. It
was obvious this week, with an episode
featuring a catfight as fierce as anything
presided over by Andy Cohen. It was
better than the extensions and spray
tans trotted out by Bravo, though — an
Iraq veteran catfished by a guy with a
Kid ‘n Play haircut.
Anthony is a 27-year-old retired soldier
from Houston, who received a Purple
Heart for his service in Iraq. He
connects with a random Facebook
friend, a guy named Marq Wells, after
seeing a number of his particularly emo
status updates. Anthony can relate,
having isolated himself following his
tour of duty. After dating for several
months, Anthony heads to Marq’s
hometown of Jackson, Mississippi, for
Thanksgiving, planning to meet Marq for
the first time at a restaurant. Marq
never shows, the next day telling one of
the least believable lies in Catfish
history: He was car-jacked en route to
the restaurant and ran over by said
vehicle, breaking his arm and his leg.
Marq’s proof? A photo of a bandaged
hand that’s a different skin tone than
his own, which he sent to Anthony.
Factor in Marq’s excuses for never
wanting to video chat, oh, and SOME
OTHER GUY ON FACEBOOK WITH THE
SAME FACE. Marq can’t explain what
the deal is with this guy Joshua (a.k.a.
“HeartThrob”) having the same pics as
him, but some frenemy of Anthony’s
apparently knows him IRL. Stupidly and
sweetly, Anthony stands by his man, but
by the time he brings in the big guns
(fine, the only guns) of Nev and Max
some months later, he’s pretty sure he’s
got a catfish on his hands. Still!
Anthony is hopeful because “he’s gotta
give a damn!” He pleads, “This person is
giving me the love I’ve never had”
before breaking down with the realest of
Catfish #realtalk, free of all delusion for
the first time pretty much ever on the
show. “I’m tired of this man lying to me
about everything,” Anthony says. “I’m
not this person, I’m not this person who
lets someone brainwash them and lets
them tell them some stupid-ass shit.”
Both in love and in Catfish, we believe
what we choose to believe.
Of course, Nev and Max find Marq’s true
identity in about half a second, all the
while patting themselves on the back for
knowing how to use Google like it isn’t
their sole job requirement besides
holding a point-and-shoot. This guy with
the same face as Marq? Yep, it’s actually
his face, and he’s a club promoter with
13,000 followers who claims to have his
photos used for catfishing purposes “all
the time.” After googling Marq’s phone
number, they find out that his real
name is, tragically, Framel, and that
he’s dumb enough to link his personal
website to his fake-ass Facebook. Cue the
easily discovered vlog of Framel talking
about how he “loves everything about
[himself], from the gap in [his] mouth to
[his] crazy whatever hair,” the whole
thing suggesting just the opposite. When
Nev calls to confront Framel, the catfish
— knowing he’s been caught and
reacting with utter bullshit — tells Nev
he’ll call him back in two minutes once
he reaches his office. In a rare
aggressive moment, Nev refuses to let
Framel hang up, noting that he’s
“avoided this long enough.” The whole
thing was truly amateur hour as far as
catfishings go, and for as realistic as
Anthony was about the whole thing
being fake, it’s confounding he didn’t
just do this himself. Or maybe he did,
but he couldn’t bear to face the truth
and get closure without the comfort of
TV cameras.
The big front door reveal should feel less
dramatic than usual, seeing as Nev and
Max already broke it to Anthony that
he’s been saying those three ~magical~
words to a dude named Framel. Alas,
it’s actually worse. Framel and Anthony
don’t even make it to the house, they
just have it out in the garage. At one
point, Anthony asks, “Was it acting?” to
which Framel answered, “I didn’t see
myself as Framel, I see myself as a
fictional character I made up.”
Anthony’s so mad, he refuses to look at
Framel. “Most of all, you made me look
stupid to my damn self,” he tells his
catfish, saving the real ugliness for the
next day.
Nev, Max, and Anthony come back the
following day, at which point Framel’s
smiley-ass friends are there, acting none
the wiser with regards to the severity of
the situation. Frankly, they had no place
being there, and one can only imagine
how awkward they felt when Anthony
and Framel started in on the bickering.
Framel was full of excuses and
declarations of love in equal measure,
but it doesn’t stop him from yelling at
Anthony to calm the hell down and
threatening him over the possibility of
physical threats. When Framel asks
Anthony why he’s even there, Anthony
straight-up walks out. It’s a battle of
who’s over it more, and even though
Anthony eventually comes back in and
fake-forgives, he’s the one who is — and
should be. One big thing at play with
Framel and his catfish brethren is the
idea of the Internet as a tool for masking
poor self-esteem. What they don’t realize
is that romantic relationships require
self-esteem, not just some fake high
knowing it’s still their personality traits
bringing those fake model pics to life.
Anthony may be hurt and more guarded
in the future, but he’ll move on with his
life and love again. Framel, who just two
months after the fact has met somebody
new, has a long journey ahead of
himself. Corny as hell, but he’s gotta
learn to love himself before he can even
attempt to love someone else — even on
the Internet.
Anthony’s Delusion Score (out of 10):
1.8
Outcome: Fetch the cornmeal, caught a
big ol' CATFISH