Highly effective people spend an inordinate amount of time and energy listening (Covey,
1989). Some psychologists believe that the ability to listen to another person, to
empathize with, and to understand their point of view is one of the highest forms of
intelligent behavior. Being able to paraphrase another person's ideas, detecting indicators
(cues) of their feelings or emotional states in their oral and body language (empathy),
accurately expressing another person's concepts, emotions and problems—all are
indications of listening behavior (Piaget called it "overcoming ego-centrism"). They are able to see through
the diverse perspectives of others. They gently attend to another person demonstrating their understanding
of and empathy for an idea or feeling by paraphrasing it accurately, building upon it, clarifying it, or giving an
example of it.
Senge and his colleagues (1994) suggest that to listen fully means to pay close attention to what is being
said beneath the words. You listen not only to the "music", but also to the essence of the person speaking.
You listen not only for what someone knows, but also for what he or she is trying to represent. Ears
operate at the speed of sound, which is far slower than the speed of light the eyes take in. Generative
listening is the art of developing deeper silences in yourself, so you can slow your mind's hearing to your
ears' natural speed, and hear beneath the words to their meaning.
We spend 55 percent of our lives listening yet it is one of the least taught skills in schools. We often say
we are listening but in actuality, we are rehearsing in our head what we are going to say next when our
partner is finished. Some students ridicule, laugh at, or put down other students' ideas. They interrupt are