12200:12:49,563 --> 00:12:52,983Age

122
00:12:49,563 --> 00:12:52,983
Agent Mimi is now M's widow.

123
00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:56,028
Agent Mimi impersonating Lady Fiona?

124
00:12:56,112 --> 00:12:58,656
Well, she has the best Scots accent.

125
00:12:59,281 --> 00:13:01,742
And that's all that's left of the McTarry.

126
00:13:02,076 --> 00:13:06,956
Your husband d-died as he lived,
Lady Fiona. In the service of Her Majesty.

127
00:13:07,248 --> 00:13:10,501
I thought it would be
my p-painful duty to impart the news.

128
00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:14,046
How did you know your husband M -
I'm sorry, McTarry - was dead?

129
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:17,299
- We were told.
- Might I ask who told you?

130
00:13:18,217 --> 00:13:20,970
- The Grey Piper.
- The who?

131
00:13:22,179 --> 00:13:24,723
Tell Sir James about the Grey Piper, lass.

132
00:13:24,807 --> 00:13:27,476
Whenever a McTarry dies,

133
00:13:27,893 --> 00:13:32,773
he comes down from the mountain,
over the loch and through the heather,

134
00:13:32,857 --> 00:13:34,733
playing the clan lament.

135
00:13:34,817 --> 00:13:38,571
We always put a tappit-hen of
usquebaugh outside the castle door.

136
00:13:38,904 --> 00:13:41,532
- Tappit-hen?
- A quart o' whisky.

137
00:13:41,615 --> 00:13:43,993
- Is he a real p-piper?
- We dinna ken.

138
00:13:44,118 --> 00:13:47,037
But it's been the same one for 600 years.

139
00:13:48,664 --> 00:13:52,418
- Naught else remains?
- Nothing to s-speak of, I'm afraid.

140
00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:57,381
It was found in a tree,
100 yards from where he stood.

141
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,510
Took off, as it were, and flew like a b-bird.

142
00:14:02,052 --> 00:14:04,847
But whether it is an article of apparel

143
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:08,601
or an anatomical f-feature,
that is the question.

144
00:14:08,684 --> 00:14:14,148
Should it be given Christian burial?
Just how p-personal is a toupee?

145
00:14:14,356 --> 00:14:17,860
It can only be regarded as a "hairloom".

146
00:14:18,486 --> 00:14:22,406
Eliza, put it wi'
all the other relics of McTarry glory.

147
00:14:23,991 --> 00:14:26,952
We all ken that
our beloved McTarry of the Glen

148
00:14:27,036 --> 00:14:29,705
was a different man in Whitehall.

149
00:14:29,789 --> 00:14:32,792
But McTarry women never ask questions.

150
00:14:35,085 --> 00:14:38,589
According to clan tradition,
when the laird dies

151
00:14:38,964 --> 00:14:44,804
a black he-goat must be ta'en alive
off Ben Tarry by six barefoot virgins.

152
00:14:45,471 --> 00:14:47,932
I myself slaughter it.

153
00:14:48,057 --> 00:14:52,353
The daughters wrest the stomach out,
and stuff it wi' entrails.

154
00:14:52,478 --> 00:14:54,522
Bright entrails.

155
00:14:54,647 --> 00:14:57,817
Sear it, boil it, and serve it up.

156
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,111
And eat it?

157
00:15:00,236 --> 00:15:04,532
- Warm reekin'.
- Sounds d-delicious.

158
00:15:04,949 --> 00:15:09,411
We start feastin' at midnight,
washin' the haggis down wi' usquebaugh.

159
00:15:09,495 --> 00:15:14,291
One gies strength to the limbs,
the other fire to the blood for dancin'.

160
00:15:14,416 --> 00:15:17,503
- Dancing?
- The McTarry funeral fling.

161
00:15:18,712 --> 00:15:23,008
"Argar, argar garar goru argar" it goes.

162
00:15:23,551 --> 00:15:27,388
- Most m-moving.
- Ah, we dance till we fall in our tracks.

163
00:15:27,471 --> 00:15:30,891
And after an hour's repose,
the piper wakes us

164
00:15:31,016 --> 00:15:33,561
to the tune o' "Awa' to the Grouse"

165
00:15:33,644 --> 00:15:36,647
and awa' we go
to the memorial grouse shoot.

166
00:15:37,064 --> 00:15:39,608
B-But surely the grouse
are not in season?

167
00:15:39,817 --> 00:15:44,363
Whenever a McTarry dies,
the grouse come into season.

168
00:15:51,328 --> 00:15:53,372
I'm Heather.

169
00:15:54,165 --> 00:15:57,585
I'm Meg. Your bath's ready, Sir James.

170
00:15:57,710 --> 00:16:00,004
- Thank you.
- At the end of the passage.

171
00:16:00,087 --> 00:16:04,884
- Very kind of you.
- Let us help you out o' your duddies.

172
00:16:04,967 --> 00:16:08,804
- No, thank you. I can manage m-my...
- We always helped Daddy.

173
00:16:09,388 --> 00:16:13,058
How many of you are there?
D-Daughters, I mean.

174
00:16:13,184 --> 00:16:16,937
- 11 in all.
- 11? M-My word.

175
00:16:18,105 --> 00:16:21,358
And how do the ages run?

176
00:16:21,484 --> 00:16:23,694
Who is the... How young is the youngest?

177
00:16:23,819 --> 00:16:26,113
- 16.
- And the eldest?

178
00:16:26,197 --> 00:16:27,823
19.

179
00:16:27,907 --> 00:16:30,785
You mean there are only...?
That's my loose kneecap.

180
00:16:30,868 --> 00:16:34,371
There are only three years
between all 11 of you?

181
00:16:34,497 --> 00:16:36,707
Some of us are adopted daughters.

182
00:16:36,832 --> 00:16:39,585
I see. Steady.

183
00:16:39,668 --> 00:16:43,839
- Are there any m-men in the house?
- Nane but the pipers.

184
00:16:44,340 --> 00:16:47,009
My daddy only liked the lassies.

185
00:16:47,092 --> 00:16:51,096
Your d-daddy really was
a d-different man in Whitehall.

186
00:17:37,810 --> 00:17:40,521
I'm testing the temperature of the water

187
00:17:40,604 --> 00:17:42,648
as I always did for my daddy.

188
00:17:43,691 --> 00:17:46,402
He used to call me his little thermometer.

189
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,281
Well? Get in.

190
00:17:51,282 --> 00:17:53,325
- Get in?
- Get in!

191
00:18:04,879 --> 00:18:07,173
You're sure I'm not c-crowding you?

192
00:18:07,298 --> 00:18:09,341
Get in.

193
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,639
Do you like your back scrubbed?

194
00:18:15,723 --> 00:18:17,766
Thank you.

195
00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:23,147
- What is your n-name, my dear?
- Buttercup.

196
00:18:23,230 --> 00:18:26,317
- How old are you?
- 17.

197
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:30,863
- Do you go to school?
- Daddy taught us.

198
00:18:32,114 --> 00:18:34,158
There. You're as sleek as a baby.

199
00:18:35,034 --> 00:18:37,077
Now, turn round.

200
00:18:53,511 --> 00:18:55,554
What form are you in?

201
00:18:55,679 --> 00:18:59,266
Can ye nae judge that
for yourself, Sir James?

202
00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:01,894
- What is your favourite subject?
- Anatomy.

203
00:19:01,977 --> 00:19:04,104
That's your mediastinum.

204
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,316
That's your
orbicularis oris.

205
00:19:07,399 --> 00:19:09,527
That's your Azygos vein.

206
00:19:09,652 --> 00:19:14,949
That's your articular cartilage,
and those are your synovial membranes.

207
00:19:15,032 --> 00:19:18,285
- Right, right.
- It's getting gey cold!

208
00:19:18,369 --> 00:19:20,996
- Quite.
- My daddy liked it hotter.

209
00:19:21,205 --> 00:19:23,916
I am not your d-da... Quite.

210
00:19:48,482 --> 00:19:50,526
Thank you.

211
00:19:53,779 --> 00:19:56,532
- To the laird!
- To the laird!

212
00:19:59,743 --> 00:20:06,000
To your right, Sir James - Lady Mary,
daughter of Lord Douglas McTarry,

213
00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:09,962
raped by the Campbells in 1622.

214
00:20:10,421 --> 00:20:12,465
In retaliation of which,

215
00:20:12,590 --> 00:20:18,679
Lord Douglas sent his only son Hamish
out to rape twa Campbell lassies.

216
00:20:19,388 --> 00:20:23,225
- At the same t-time?
- Eldest first, of course.

217
00:20:23,350 --> 00:20:27,271
As prescribed by scripture.
The youngest bore him triplets.

218
00:20:30,566 --> 00:20:33,652
Their union being
thus bounteously blessed,

219
00:20:33,777 --> 00:20:36,238
a contract of marriage was entered into

220
00:20:36,363 --> 00:20:41,160
which brought the McTarrys Black Loch,
Ben Torn, the Shags of Raugh,

221
00:20:41,285 --> 00:20:44,371
Glen Noch,
and a good stretch of salmon water.