Stop right there ... (pause button used) ... answer: I think you look feminine, sound feminine. We all have a male and female side, you have a strong female side. Don't worry about that. I am worried that you are alone. And jobs and so on, I really hope you'll manage to succeed! I live on the other side of the pond (EU) and I also miss New Jersey (I have never been there! But it would be so fun to see more of the world, have friends to visit and so on - but still, it is not so bad here neither!) wish you the best! :)