Leslie Morgan Steiner thought that she’d found true love in her early 20s. Instead, she found herself married to a man who repeatedly pointed a gun at her head and threatened to kill her.
In today’s brave talk, given at TEDxRainier, Steiner tells the story of how she — a Harvard-educated magazine editor turned businesswoman — fell into an abusive relationship. She seeks to answer the question people always ask about women who are being abused: Why does she stay?
Steiner calls the phenomenon “crazy love.” Like many other women and men experience each year, her relationship started with adoration, moved on to isolation, and culminated in extreme manipulation — and violence.
“As it turns out, I’m a very typical domestic abuse victim … Domestic violence happens to everyone. All races, all religions, all income and education levels,” says Steiner. “Why did I stay? The answer is easy. I didn’t know he was abusing me. Even though he held those loaded guns to my head, pushed me downstairs, threatened to kill our dog, pulled the key out of the car ignition as I drove down the highway, poured coffee grinds on my head as I dressed for a job interview, I never once thought of myself as a battered wife. Instead, I was a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man and I was the only person on earth who could help him face his demons.”
To hear Steiner’s terrifying story — and how she finally got out by going public and talking to everyone she could about what was happening behind closed doors — listen to this powerful talk. And below, five more speakers brave enough to share their personal experiences and let others know they are not alone.